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Curious and Unusual Political Parties

 

Political Awakenings: Conversations with History2010 holds the promise of a gubernatorial election, wrapping up the effects of the last election, which was a political free-for-all between movie actors, moguls, child actors, and Gallagher.

But even with the inordinate amounts of fun we had those seven (long) years ago, at least our California political machine never reached the following heights.

Awakened and Amazed

Political Awakenings: Conversations with History by Harry Kreisler has some great interviews with influential people who describe their most profound political influences.

If there is a sequel to the book, I hope the founders of some of the parties below are interviewed.

Here's a list of some of the strangest political parties still in existence:

The We Like Women Party

Also known as the "Robotic Wealth for Women Party" and the "We Like Women and Science Party."

OK, so this is Californian political party, but it's low on the list, so it can be excused.

What are they all about? Well this is what they say: "(WE WILL LITERALLY CONDITION ALL BOYS TO WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH WOMEN FOREVER AND EVER WHEN THEY GROW UP!)" Using neuroscience, they plan on brainwashing men into loving women and giving women all of their money because "Every woman must live in wealth with robotic servants & issues like the flying car." See Neuroscience Likes Women for details.

The Blue Enigma Party

This party from Delaware doesn't seem like it's too crazy compared to some of the fringe elements out there in the world, but they do have one great thing going for them--their candidate Jeff Brown is listed as "SWM able to leap tall buildings in a single bound." How could one possibly vote for any other party when this one has Superman? Their website is called Blue Enigma Party.

The Guns and Dope Party

No, this is not Hunter S. Thompson's party, it is Robert Anton Wilson's party, and they have a simple goal: "May we suggest everybody for president!" The Guns and Dope Party wants everyone to write in their own name in the next election, that way everyone can be president (or governor, in this case). Their first order of business upon assuming office will be to "fire 33% of the Congress [names selected at random] and replace them with full-grown adult ostriches, whose mysterious and awesome dignity will elevate the sudden barbarity long established there."

This political party is based heavily on Robert Wilson's "Discordian" themes, themes that he developed in his Illuminatus! Trilogy  and was formed in response to the 2003 recall election that was eventually won by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
 

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

This British Party says it all right there in the title. They have many fabulous ideas such as adding the Loch Ness monster to the endangered species list and banning the use of asterisks. Although these ideas may seem impractical, several of their other original ideas have actually been signed into law, such as lowering the voting age to 18. Their party was started by musician David Sutch in the 80s, and is still going strong today. OVer the years, the OMRLP has been able to win seats in local government throughout Britain, which is more than any of these other parties can claim.

The Church of the Militant Elvis Party

"The Church of the Militant Elvis Party was founded in 2001 to overthrow the Corporate Capitalist State which turned Elvis, a man of immense talent, into a fat media joke." They also have a bone to pick with the grocery chain Tesco, though why that is isn't made very clear. The founder, Lord Biro, was demoted due to his age and was replaced by "Lesbian Elvis," who is a female dummy. This is justified, claims the Church of the Militant Elvis, because many dummies have held political office before, such as Ronald Reagan and Gerald Ford. One of the main points of their manifesto is "If elected our candidate would like to see lonely people given the legal right to marry their live-in blow-up rubber dolls."

After carefully reviewing the many qualifications of each political party, I have decided to cast my vote with the "We Like Women Party," because they promise to develop a flying motorcycle, and that's all it takes to win me over.

 

Author Bio:

Josh Pearce is an oil painting. Salvador Dali painted him in 1970, following the canons of his particular interpretation of surrealist thought.

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